Right before I began writing this, I was studying for the last test in the business law class I took this summer (Yes, it’s taken me this long to write this post. WordPress lists my revisions at “25+” because it got tired of counting or something). I’ve now completed the test, and am received my final grade for the course. I figured I would just cut out the fluff and tell you what I’ve been doing lately. I’m back in the classroom. But this time, I’m a student. The law class was the first class toward my MBA.
Crazy, right?
I went from writing papers in grad school to grading papers as a freshmen comp teacher to writing papers again as a newly minted MBA student. Well, more like doing math problems (Oh noes, numbers!) again. I’ve started accounting and economics classes this semester. Nary a liberal arts class on my schedule for the first time ever.
Crazier, right?
Before this summer, I had never taken a business class. I dodged anything related to finance, accounting, and the like, in favor of words and ideas. Nestled in the pages of books is where I’m most at home. Abstract ideas are kinda my thing. But now, everything is real and has to be balanced and accounted for. And it’s really weird.
Being back in the classroom is weird, too.
Especially after I’ve taught and led my own classroom. I’ve had to take a step back and become an observer and participant to someone else’s teaching. It’s nice in some ways. There’s less pressure. I’m not in charge of leading a group of students anymore, so that takes off some stress. But now I have to worry about homework and grades again. I can feel my perfectionist tendencies swelling up again. The possibility of making an “A” again! Oh, just tell me how high to jump!
It’s different too. Not just because I’m transitioning from being a teacher. I’m working full-time now. My job isn’t just to do well in school. My identity is no longer “full-time grad student.” I have other responsibilities and priorities now. It’s resulted in a tight, fretful balancing act, but let’s be honest, I need something else to balance the school work.
Last time, grad school consumed me. I didn’t really do anything else. Sure, I had a part-time job, but really, it was all about school. Now, I have to keep my full-time job at the university to continue to attend school for free. And I’m running regularly now. Like “several times of week” regularly now. Like “I’m serious about this and training for my first half marathon” regularly now. Running has been crazy and painful and full of tears and blisters, but so rewarding.
Yeah, I’m back in school again, but I don’t feel like I’ve entered the world of academia again. Which is good for me, I think. Weird, but good. I have other roles to define me now. Employee. Runner. Person. And more importantly, I’m working on a better balance this time around. And that’s a very good thing.
